Quality Supports People Need

  • What We Do

    IHS Services, Inc. is an Ohio-based company that provides support services to people of all ages in our community. We provide: I/O Waiver Services, Level 1 Waiver Services, Supported Living Services, Passport Services, and Private Pay Services.

  • Our Mission Statement

    IHS Services, Inc. is dedicated to facilitating a high quality of support services to enable individuals to make life choices through living, working, and community options.

  • Philosophy

    The philosophy of IHS Services, Inc. holds to the basic tenet that every human being has the right and freedom to live as independently as their capabilities allow. With this thought in mind, individuals require many kinds of assistance in … Continue reading

  • Management Philosophy

    IHS Services, Inc. finds that the Chain of Support is the most effective method of management for our agency. This emphasizes the team approach, which is at the heart of everything IHS does. Within this chain of support the IHS … Continue reading

As We Move Forward: Acceptance and Approval

Group

 At first look, these two words may look very similar. On closer examination, there are some significant differences. Acceptance signifies the beginning of a relationship. It is most often based on a set of expectations rather than a mutual interest or shared set of experiences. We can be accepting of someone with whom we have serious disagreements as long as we have enough respect for the person and their ideas to see value and worth in the person and their ideas even if hold a different opinion.

It is possible, for example, to accept and even admire someone with interest and ability in sports, music, drama or any number of other areas in which a person does not share either ability or specific interest. Most of us have expressed the desire to be something when we grow up, even if we have little or no common ability with anyone who does this particular thing.

Approval takes this to the next level. Approval embraces common interests and abilities and adds much more actual involvement or at least the desire to become involved in the activities and beliefs of others.

We can be accepting of someone with differing philosophical, cultural or social beliefs. In fact, I have had some of my most rewarding discussions with people with drastically different points of view than mine. I value the relationships I have developed with these people. After all, I learn very little from people who see everything the same way I do.

Approval is a different matter. I do not necessarily approve of the beliefs of everyone I accept. Far too often, in our current culture, it seems that people demand both our acceptance and our approval of them and their position on everything. The two are not necessarily mutually inclusive. I miss the open dialogue of being able to offer acceptance without necessarily offering approval at the same time.

Group

As we move forward, I believe it is important to understand the distinction  between acceptance and approval. It is polarizing to be told I am prejudiced or insensitive simply because I cannot approve everything I can accept.

As we move forward, I invite you to be as accepting as possible, even if that does not always include offering approval. Both have value, but they are not the same.

If you would like to receive new As We Move Forward posts, please subscribe to the As We Move Forward mailing list by clicking here. I release entries on a bi-weekly basis.

We have a podcast containing the As We Move Forward articles read by Jonathan Bloom.

As We Move Forward: Give and Take

Mom and Child

These two words—give and take, can be used to describe what takes place in each of our relationships. Whatever relationships we enter into, we give  who we are and what we bring into the relationship. We take what the other person has to offer that meets our needs. One of the reasons the first smiles of a baby are so much appreciated is the very fact that the beginning of the parent child relationship involves almost total giving on the part of the parents, especially in the infancy stage. It seems as if the newborn takes constantly everything he or she needs to be content. That first smile is seen by the parent as this child giving back love and appreciation.

In early life we learn a lot about the process of give and take in our various relationships. An ongoing question of what is from nature and what is nurture comes from watching a child develop their unique personality and their tendencies to be more of a giver or more of a taker in relationships as they develop.

It is tempting to over simplify our conclusions about where people fall on this give and take scale based on what we think we know about someone. It is easy to conclude that a spoiled, pampered indulged child will show signs of being a chronic taker. While this does sometimes seems like the simplest explanation for certain behavior, it is not always an accurate description of what is happening.

There are certainly occasions where someone who has always seemingly received everything they might want turns out to be more of a giver, while someone who was denied many of these things becomes a taker in their relationships.

What are some of the behaviors that seem characteristic of givers and takers in relationships? Takers seem to be focused on themselves and their needs and wants. They tend to view relationships in terms of what is in the relationship for them and how they can get others to do what they want. In defense of takers, it does seem that. Many of them are unaware of this tendency. They tend to believe that their way of looking at things is the best, if not the only way to see things.

People who tend toward giving have a tendency to see every situation in how it will affect others. Givers often tend to abdicate decision making to takers because they can seem unwilling or unable to make decisions.

Friendships

As we move forward, it can be helpful to look at ourselves and others with whom we are in relationships to see where we line up as givers and takers. As in most things, the goal is to achieve a balance in our relationships. At  the very least, having an understanding of where we fall on this scale in our relationships can help us find the best balance to make all our relationships as productive as they can be.

As we move forward, may we achieve this balance in each of our relationships be our goal.

If you would like to receive new As We Move Forward posts, please subscribe to the As We Move Forward mailing list by clicking here. I release entries on a bi-weekly basis.

We have a podcast containing the As We Move Forward articles read by Jonathan Bloom.

As We Move Forward: Reasonable Expectations

How do you know what you can reasonably expect from a relationship? That may sound like a fairly straightforward question, but in reality the answer may involve more than we might imagine. Relationships, even very basic, simple ones have many dynamics.

Parent & Child

Take a fundamental relationship like the one between parent and child. The parent is assumed to love the child and always place the child’s interests ahead of their own. Most of the time this seems to work pretty well. What complicates things are all the factors taking place in the life of the parent that may seem to have nothing to do with the child, but which actually have a great deal to do with how the parent interacts with the child.

Now, think of the lowest moment in your life, the time when you were ashamed of everything you were thinking and feeling. Maybe it is a time you yelled at other people, were impatient with hem, were rude and insulting. Hopefully, this was one of those times you regretted your action as soon as you had done them.

If the parent is experiencing stress in their own life, whether it is personal or work-related, this can have a direct bearing on the relationship between parent and child. Reasonable expectations for a child to have in a stable, loving home can be far different than reasonable expectations in a home where stressors, such as financial insecurity, abuse of alcohol or other substances or other factors outside the child’s direct experience may have a serious impact on what are reasonable expectations.

This can happen in settings like school and work. Things happening in the personal life of a teacher, supervisor or co-worker can change what are reasonable expectations, sometimes without our even being aware of what is going on. Unfortunately, our culture tends to place more value on critical reactions, than measured, reasonable responses. A sudden change in behavior in one of these relationships may be easier to identify and understand than one that is long term.

Restaurant

This can even affect casual relationships. It is reasonable to expect that a server or a salesperson will provide the product or service in a polity, even friendly manner. The things going on in their life at the moment may turn  things around to the point that it seems they are doing us a favor by doing thing that could be reasonably assumed to be their job.

As we move forward, we should try to always remember the unique opportunity being in relationships with others gives us to have an impact on someone else’s life. Whenever things don’t seem quite right, we can take a step back and try to understand what is going on.

I believe we each do the best we can given what we know. As we move forward, I encourage you to make it your goal to know as much as possible in each of your relationships to do everything you can to insure that each of your relationships are as reasonable and productive as possible. It is a worthy goal. Let us move forward together.

If you would like to receive new As We Move Forward posts, please subscribe to the As We Move Forward mailing list by clicking here. I release entries on a bi-weekly basis.

We have a podcast containing the As We Move Forward articles read by Jonathan Bloom.